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Post by Oomtom on Oct 9, 2016 11:59:55 GMT
Hi
Some people look for " ism " anywhere they can.
Try this new one:
The Director of Social Welfare in Liverpool is presented with a report highlighting the problem of 14 year old girls going out on a Friday Night Binge Drinking. " Oh no she exclaims. this will not do, Who is looking after their Children ".
Bye
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Post by Red Or Dead on Oct 9, 2016 12:16:47 GMT
Hi,
Even worse.
Bye.
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 9, 2016 12:28:59 GMT
Hi
There is no pleasing some people.
The teacher at a school, not in Ireland, says to her class of 6 year old's who can give me a sentence with the word " Facinate ".
Little Amy ventures " My sister brought home her boyfriend and he was Facinating ". Good said the teacher but I said Facinate.
Suzy tried and said " I was Facinated to learn the Pope is Catholic ". Good said the teacher but the word is Facinate.
Little Johnny put up is hand, the teacher was wary of him but said go ahead Johnny.
" My sister has a Cardigan with 10 buttons, but her Tits are so big she can only fasten 8 ".
Bye
PS It was not in Ireland because by 6 years old the kids are harvesting Potatoes (lies)
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Post by Red Or Dead on Oct 9, 2016 12:38:25 GMT
Hi,
Tut-tut.
Bye.
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 9, 2016 16:31:03 GMT
Hi
From your post above I see you prefer ancient Egyptian jokes. So here is a quickie.
The Pyramids were built by the Pharoah's but the Dark Oahs did all the work.
Bye
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Post by Red Or Dead on Oct 9, 2016 20:48:11 GMT
Hi,
More racism.
Bye.
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 11, 2016 16:07:12 GMT
Hi
Am I missing something here ? There seems to be little or no activity. Big game versus Liverpool coming up and no post, Rooney dropped from England startring line up and captaincy going to a Liverpool player, no one posting in Games, Ryan admitting he had talks with Swansea etc.....
Bye
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 11, 2016 16:16:34 GMT
Hi After making the above post I went to Games which said 4 Viewing but when I clicked on to Games the stats said there was only me on line ? Is this site Haunted ? Just in case here is one of my world famous, rib cracking jokes for over 18's. The phone rings and Steve answers it. It is his wife who asks if he would go past the farm on his way home and bring home 4 Live White hens. He asks why ! She says I want them as Pall Bearers for that Dead Cock you bring home every night  Hope everyone wakes up soon ! Bye |
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 11, 2016 16:51:54 GMT
Hi
Well as I have the whole site to myself how about a few of my award winning jokes. Stop me if you have heard this one:-
OVER 18s ONLY:
What is the difference between a Snowman and a Snow Woman - Snow Balls !
Where does a 300 pound Gorilla sleep - Anywhere he bloody wants to !
What do you call a Fly with no wings - A Walk !
If Superman is so smart, how come he wears his underpants outside of his Suit !
How do you know an Elephant has been in the fridge - Footprints in the Butter
Bye
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Post by Jie on Oct 12, 2016 6:47:43 GMT
Hi
Terrible.
Bye
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 12, 2016 14:50:59 GMT
Hi Everyone is a Critic  Bye |
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 15, 2016 8:31:10 GMT
Hi
When I was a small boy my Dad used to put me inside a Tyre and roll me downhill. They were good years !
Bye
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Post by Red Or Dead on Oct 15, 2016 12:38:28 GMT
Hi,
“My wife said: ‘Did you know butterflies only live for one day?’ I said: ‘That’s a myth.’ She said: ‘No, it’s definitely a butterfly."
Bye
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 16, 2016 10:35:04 GMT
Hi And you say my jokes are Bad !!!!! If it walks like a Duck Quacks like a Duck It is probably a Cliche  That is brand new I just made it up ....... Bye |
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Post by Oomtom on Oct 22, 2016 8:45:20 GMT
Hi My friend in Glasgow told me he went to the Job Centre and one ad caught his eye. It was for a Fanny Waxers Assistant. The job description listed " washing of ladies private parts, hair trimming prior to waxing ..... ". He went in to apply for the Job and the assistant told him he must go to Dover. My friend asked " why is that where the Job is ? " no said the assistant that is the end of the Queue " A lady gets into a Cab in London and says Waterloo Please. The cabby asks ' The Station ' well replies the Lady I am a bit Fuc*ing late for the Battle. Bye |
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