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Post by Jie on Nov 8, 2014 11:13:24 GMT
I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"
Kinky bitch.
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Post by Red Or Dead on Nov 8, 2014 11:19:35 GMT
A scouser rings the rape helpline and says.....
"Right, I've got her down, what do I do next?"
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Post by Hammy on Nov 8, 2014 11:25:51 GMT
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"
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Post by Red Or Dead on Nov 8, 2014 11:31:36 GMT
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"
Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
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Post by StrikerMo on Nov 8, 2014 11:45:12 GMT
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
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Post by Red Or Dead on Nov 8, 2014 11:58:55 GMT
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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Post by StrikerMo on Nov 8, 2014 12:13:01 GMT
Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
A: A virgin.
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Post by Red Or Dead on Nov 8, 2014 20:26:28 GMT
A little girl was playing in the garden when she spied two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a daddy long legs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a mommy long legs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy long legs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.
"Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden."
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Post by Hammy on Nov 10, 2014 11:19:34 GMT
I guess we're all out of jokes.
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Post by StrikerMo on Nov 10, 2014 11:56:07 GMT
Nah
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Post by Red Or Dead on Nov 10, 2014 12:01:14 GMT
plenty
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Post by StrikerMo on Nov 10, 2014 12:06:45 GMT
of course
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Post by Hammy on Nov 10, 2014 12:18:21 GMT
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Post by Red Or Dead on Nov 10, 2014 12:33:13 GMT
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Post by Hammy on Nov 10, 2014 17:23:39 GMT
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